2. La medida de mi madre: How We Always Found A Way To Love Each Other - Julia

Julia - The Elixir Poetry Podcast guest - Episode 2

Episode 2 Commentary by Tobias Elia

(Read ‘La medida de mi madre’ below)

The Measure of My Mother- Begoña Abad  

This week Helen is joined by Julia to discuss the poem, ‘La Medida de Mi Madre’, or  ‘The Measure of My Mother’ by the Spanish poet Begoña Abad. Taking the perspective of the author, the poem looks back at the relationship between her and her mother, particularly at growth, and how over the years she has grown taller than her now small mother. Julia identifies with the sentiments expressed in the poem - her own stepmother having been only 150cm is a fundamental reason why.

However, even for those whose parents exceed belly button height, the poem is still able to resonate.  The feeling as though you and your parents are no longer in balance with each other, the wrong fit,  misaligned, is something many of us will have experienced throughout our lives, usually most painful and acute in our teenage years. 

These growing pains last past adolescence and into adulthood, so it seems impossible to find a way to balance a life created for oneself and the one our parents created for us and inhabit themselves. The struggles row back and forth and subsequent compromises and re-compromises are underpinned by a mutual desire to stay part of each other’s lives, and are most eloquently summed up by Begoña Abad-  

Through the years  

We’ve stretched and stooped  

Seeking the perfect height  

Where our love fits just right

This perfectly encapsulates the difficulties in creating one's own life and rules whilst finding a way to peacefully and meaningfully allow our parents into it.

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Text of the poem in Spanish:


La medida de mi madre


No sé si lo he dicho:

mi madre es pequeña

y tiene que ponerse de puntillas

para besarme.

Hace años yo me empinaba,

supongo, para robarle un beso.

Nos hemos pasado la vida

estirándonos y agachándonos

para buscar la medida exacta

donde poder querernos. 



[Begoña Abad, La editorial Olifante publicó en 2008 el poemario La medida de mi madre]




Translation of the poem:



The Measure of my Mother

I may not have mentioned it before: 

my mother stands small, 

tiptoeing to kiss me. 

Years ago, I imagine, 

it was I who reached up, 

to snatch a kiss from her. 

Through the years, 

We’ve stretched and stooped

seeking the perfect height,

where our love fits just right.




About the poet:

https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Begoña_Abad

https://www.pikaramagazine.com/2012/07/begona-abad-de-la-parte-la-poeta-que-desea-no-desearportadoras-de-suenos/

Seis poemas de Begoña Abad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmCYWJDxM7E